Santa stops out

19 December 2013

Dirty Stops the Cavalry -12 inch Christmas special extended remix.

Warning: This page may contain explicit and repeated references to “Christmas Specials” from the outset and therefore is not suitable to people with “Christmas Special” allergies.

Dj Trev’s guide to follies with Holly and mischief under the mistletoe with a couple of Carols.

It’s properly Christmas now isn’t it? Christmas songs are not just on Radio 2, they’ve made the leap to Radio 1. Stray FM are reaching “critical mass” – they are playing Christmas songs you’ve never heard of and sometimes they even just sound basically like normal songs but with some sleighbells at the end…. Christ (‘cos that is what Christmas is allegedly all about y’know, despite the fact that it is in fact a celebration of the shortest day and a time to be thankful for the soon return of the sun) I’m even considering doing some Christmas Shopping… Nah, it’ll be fine for a week or so yet won’t it?

Faced with all of my stupid Christmas Jobs I have to do (deep breath: write festive quizzes, pick out a jumper to wear tonight, buy presents, wrap presents up, unwrap them all because I forgot which DVD was going to which aunt, wrap them all up again, realize I’ve still not made a note of what is what, unwrap them all again, go and find those 30 Christmas gift bags I’ve been saving under the sink for just this occasion, see the state of under the sink, start cleaning it, end up having to clean the entire kitchen, go back into the living room thinking “there I’ve achieved something”, realize I’ve not actually finished wrapping up the presents, complain loudly and to people I don’t know that it’s “all just consumerism anyway”, make large cash transfers to my siblings with regards to their children’s gifts, revel in the magic of giving, plus do some DJ’ing) I probably shouldn’t spend too much time on writing this, but frankly I care TOO MUCH about you, my casual reader, to cut corners… And hey – it’s the almost the Winter Solstice so soon days will be getting longer and the sun god will be returning to fill our lives with warmth: so lets really do this Yule thing and celebrate the deep midwinter with aplomb, or at least a plumb pudding.

There are actually 2 weeks worth of listings here. There WILL be a “Dirty Stop Out’s” on Boxing day next week with that week’s listings, trust me, I’m writing it at the same time as this one, however, I thought it would be helpful for you to have all the “festive listings” on one page, as people like to plan ahead for things like new years eve innit? So I’ve included in this week’s installment any days from next week that have special events planned… If anymore pop up between now and then I will feature them next week but since, if you bother reading it at all next week, you’ll be hungover and grumpy, I’m probbers going to make next weeks a bit of a quick one.

I suppose you might already have made your plans for all this anyway… I SUPPOSE you might just read this page for the boob jokes and not really read the listings, BUT Christmas time is perhaps more than any other time of the year, a time for pretending everything is fine. So, no, no, no, it is worthwhile, and people do really care what’s on and every single dj in Harrogate definitely wont have to REPEATEDLY say to people “no it’s not that kind of night”, when bewildered 40 somethings go up to them at a deep house night and ask for some thing nice that “WE CAN DANCE TO like Cliff”. For example.

Tonight at Viper Rooms they are having a “Christmas special” that is so special they are opening Moko lounge too to deal with the over flow. You may well at this point be thinking “hang on, he’s talking about an event on Thursday that IS NOT his quiz night at Lure… What the devil is going on??” but fear not! The reason is simple: whilst tonight indeed I AM running a quiz at Lure, tonight it’s NOT the Christmas special, as I decided to do that next week on Boxing day, as no one will have had enough of Christmas by then at all.

Speaking of next week’s “Boxing Day Special” quiz at Lure I am presented with a problem: naturally I want to go on about my “Boxing Day Special” quiz at Lure, but honestly, there is another event on that day that I’d really like to give top billing to: Knee Deep’s house night have THEIR Boxing day special (yes, it’s on boxing day too) with Hot Since 82. I’m not kidding, Hot Since 82 is someone who has totally exploded this year (not literally, obviously) and that will be an amazing night. I suppose the answer would be go to my quiz at 8pm, then dance to tech and deep house til 6am. I would suggest (remember I’m no doctor) that if you do that, by 27th December you will have increased your powers of logic and deduction tenfold.

Anyway I’m getting ahead of myself here, that’s next week (the period I like to call Betwixtmas) and first we’ve got all the other “Christmas Specials” to deal with.

On Monday at The Alexandra your Dj Pieman has The Alexandra Pub Quiz’s authentic “Chritsmas Special” where there is a guaranteed raffle prize of £100, with no tricky question to answer. Now I’ve only recently restarted MY quiz night (Lure Bar, every Thursday) but even I can tell that a £100 cash prize for a raffle compares favorably to the prizes you get at my quiz, which include prizes like biscuits. And “much”more. Other quizzes round town are this Fridays “Geek Pub Quiz” at retro. That is, would you believe, a “Christmas Special”. I actually reckon that’ll be the pick of the Christmas Quizzes, if you can get in! My top fave pub the Empress on the Stray have their “Christmas Special” pub quiz on Sunday; however, whilst Sean the Bear McGrath does a quiz every Thursday at Christies, I’m not sure if that is a “Christmas Special”. He mainly seems to be giving it rock all about their “Mad Friday” party there this Friday (20th dec) with The MG Band. So don’t be upset if you go see Sean tonight and he’s not dyed his beard white and put on a load of weight. Actually, it’s been a while since I’ve seen him, that might have just happened naturally.

On Friday Dan Burnette is playing at the Den. I’m not sure this is technically a “Christmas Special” or what… But Dan is well good, so even if he doesn’t do a 45 minute extended jam out of Chris de Burgh’s “A Spaceman came Travelling” it should be worth attending.

Tomorrow’s confirmed “Christmas Specials” include excellent Indie Band Recovery’s return to live music at rehab on the top floor, with support from Strangers in Paradise & The Unity Reggae Band. I practically guarantee Jonny Recovery will do an acoustic version of “Last Christmas” by Wham that I definitely guarantee will reduce even the most grown man to tears (not a guarantee).

On Saturday it seems to be business as usual with everywhere taking a well deserved break from “Christmas Specials” to just put on their regular Saturday nights. Never one to miss a trick then, I have decided to make my final appearance of the year at the Den a “Christmas special” so it’s “Dj Trev’s Saturday at the Den half arsed sort of requests and kind of nice music not Rihanna Christmas Special the the Den” at the Den “Christmas Special”.

I’m actually not sure I can write the words “Christmas Special” anymore today, as my doctor recommends I avoid repetitive strain injuries particularly if they are received during

the writing of something no one really reads, so I’ll just let you know about the Zumbalicious “Ch*r*stm*s Sp*c**l” Zumba Party this Sunday at Rehab. This starts at 8pm and

is finished by 10pm, and is followed by Dj Trev’s Yuletide Log until 3 or 4 in the morning.

I would like to take the opportunity to thank everyone who came down to the Bottom of the Bottle “C^r!$+m@$ Sp£c!@!” last Sunday as it was an ace night, and you are all more than welcome to come to the top floor of rehab on new years Eve for a free Rockin’ Party, but more on that next week in our “Boxing Day lets get ready for New years Eve special-a-thon” same time next week.

EVERYTHING on Christmas eve is a “Christmas Special”, as you will see in the listings, meanwhile this Sunday Charlies Place (Otley road) has an Elvis tribute band on, but they didn’t write “Christmas Special” after it, so they may or may not do “Lonely this Christmas”, which is only appropriate, as it’s actually by Mud and not Elvis, no matter what Youtube says.

Here are the listings for what’s on, if your event is not listed, don’t worry, no one reads this bit anyway. However if it’s not til next week you can message me on facebook and I’ll slip it in on boxing day.

THURSDAY 19th December “Christmas Special” COUNT: 1

Lure Bar, Quiz night with Dj Trev, 8pm £1 entry, free after quiz with Dj Trev playing Crap Disco party music til 2am.

Viper Rooms Nightclub, “Our Party” Christmas R’n’B night, plus Moko Lounge 2nd venue.

Rehab Nightclub, free entry, £2.50 drinks all night with Dj Tex.

Blues Bar, Live music with Skapegoat Kelly, Free entry.

The Alexandra, Live music, free entry.

Christies, Pub quiz with Sean McGrath.

FRIDAY 20th December “Christmas Special” COUNT: 3

Retro Bar, Geek pub quiz “Christmas Special”.

Christies Bar, Mad Friday Christmas Special” with the MG Band.

The Den, Uncle Dan Burnette’s festive Christmas hits round the tree.

Lure Bar, Dj Toby Skinner.

Viper Rooms, X-Factor Finalist Entry £5 or £8 VIP meet & Greet.

Rehab Nightclub, “Electro Circus” dance Night downstairs. Top Floor live music with recovery’s come back gig, plus Strangers in Paradise & The Unity Reggae Band Christmas Special”.

Grape & Graze, Acoustic Night with Aaron Bertenshaw, Biz Denton, Toby, James Hughes + more.

The Blues Bar, live music from Syncrownized. Free entry.

Dj Trev from Harrogate

SATURDAY 21st December “Christmas Special” COUNT: 1

Charlies Place, live music from the Detours.

Grape & Graze, live music every Saturday, 8.30pm. Followed by Dj Paul Brez.

Dj Trev’s Saturday at the Den half arsed sort of requests and kind of nice music not Rihanna Christmas Special the the Den” at the Den “Christmas Special”

The Blues Bar, live music with The Jed Thomas Blues Band, free entry.

Moko Lounge nightclub, “Drop Out”, with serious thinking man’s house DJ Chris Fountain out of Hollyoaks.

Revolution Bar, front bar Dj Tex (Soul & R’n’B), main room Disco Dave (upfront dance and chart) free entry.

Rehab nightclub, Rock music upstairs from Your Dj Pieman, Downstairs, dance music with Dj Wayne & James. Free entry.

Vipers Rooms Nightclub Dj Angel Lee & The Legendary Neil Jaques playing tunes for upfront clubbing upstairs, Harvey Westwood downstairs, free entry before 11pm.

Christies Pub, Sean McGrath’s Cheesy disco, free entry.

SUNDAY 22nd December “Christmas Special” COUNT: 2

The Empress on The Stray, “Christmas Pub Quiz special”.

Charlies Place, Otley road, Elvis Tribute band.

Rehab nightclub, Zumbalicious “cHRISTMAS sPECIAL” Zumba Party, Followed by Dj Trev’s Yuletide Log.

Pitcher & Piano, live music.

The Alexandra Pub, Live music at the Sunday Soundcheck acoustic night.

Viper Room’s Nightclub, Peek-a-Boo Urban night.

Blues Bar, live music from the band who are everywhere these days, the mighty TBC in the Afternoon, in the evening it’s the Barsteward Sons of Val doonican. Free En-try.

Fat Badger , Cold Bath Road, Pub Quiz.

MONDAY 23rd December “Christmas Special” COUNT: 2

The Alexandra Pub Quiz, with Dj Pieman. Guarenteed Raffle prize of £100, with no tricky question.

Rehab, Dj Pieman v’s Max Czernics post quiz “Christmas Special” battle of the ego’s.

The Harlow Inn, Otley road, Pub Quiz.

Blues Bar, open mic session with Pete Oliver including Aaron Bertenshaw acoustic, free entry.

Moko Lounge nightclub, Karaoke..

TUESDAY 24th December “Christmas Special” supreme


Usual listings are suspended. I, for example (Dj the Trev), am playing at Revolution in Harrogate. I only play there once a year, cos I’m good at playing Mariah Carey and that innit? It’s a “Christmas Special”. Dj Pieman is at Rehab, that’s a “Christmas Special”. The Blues Bar, which usually has live music, lists tonight as a “Christmas Special”. Do you see where I’m going?.. Everywhere will be open, everyone will be doing a “Christmas Special”. Look, lets not kid ourselves that you are GENUINELY looking for ideas what to do tonight? It’s Christmas eve, go to your favorite place with your favorite people and sing all the “They were your favorite Christmas songs up until about the 13th of December when you got sick of them like you always do, but on Christmas eve you love them again, mainly because it will be another year until you have to hear them again” Christmas tunes.


Not sure. Check with Venue’s. Really, shouldn’t you be asleep on the sofa, farting?

I only know that Dj Pieman is playing at The Alexandra til 1am, if you just can’t face your family anymore.

Bonus reeemiiiix DAYS


Lure Bar, Christmas Hangover Quiz night with Dj Trev, 8pm £1 entry, quiz finished by 10pm, free after quiz with Dj Trev playing foolhardy party music til 2am.

Knee deep boxing day special, with Hot Since 82. Plus Josh Demello, Dom Samba, James Moon, Sean Harris & Bri Buckle.

Rehab, Dj Piemans Boxing day boxing, with Dj Tex’s Flex upstairs.

Blues Bar, Live music with The Birdman Rallies, Free entry.

FRIDAY 27th December

Business as usual PLUS Retro bar, Blood and thunder heavy metal night with Jamie Bramhall.

SATURDAY 28th December

Business as usual PLUS Lure Bar, Back 2 vinyl retro Party.

TUESDAY 31st December

I’m suspending regular listings for this night as I am positive every venue will be holding a “New Years Eve” party of some kind. I, to pick an example entirely at random (according to my retirement plan), am playing on the Top Floor of Rehab for Bottom of the Bottle’s Annual FREE ENTRY New Years Eve party. I’m sure there are loads of other things going on, but frankly, I don’t care. If you’d like to take a regular Tuesday nights listing and cut n’ paste “New years Eve special” after every listing in it you can, but I think it would be factually vague at best, and so I’m going to opt for a safer “please check with venues”, which, lets face it, I could just write under every single date in the year, and save myself a right lot of work….. Still, have a great night and play safe. There will perhaps be more details available by next week, if I do indeed actaully bother writing this column at all….


If you are looking for the ideal soundtrack for your party, doesn’t have one, however I can recommend for any time you may visit the toilet for a prolonged period to lay your Christmas log. As it is essentially toilet humor.

Thanks for reading, have a great Christmas whatever you do, don’t be a nob, which means don’t drink and drive, drink responsibly and don’t be loose with your affections.

Trev x x x

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