Dirty Stops Out – Dj Trev’s guide to the weekend the page with less hits than Connor Smith had friend requests yesterday

17 October 2013

After yesterday’s scary times in Knaresborough, this page is proud to launch the “bring tourism back to Knaresborough” campaign (B.T.B.2.K. 2K13).

Currently we are hoping to arrange walking tours of the town taking in such Calendar news land marks as “blurry shop front” and “shakiley filmed street”. Future events planned involve a visit to the phone box from which the person of limited intellect made the fateful call from, followed by a visit to them in their cell so that you can look at them and wonder if evolution is starting to fail. For an extra £5 you can poke them with a stick. Joking aside ( if you are thinking: “that was a joke? Isn’t the purpose of jokes to be funny?” Yes, it was an ironic homage to aforementioned hoax callers) I personally feel that the police did excellent work yesterday, I can only imagine how scary it must have been to be there at the time, so grasping how bad it must have been be in the front line is beyond me. Equally my sympathies go to the people who were the victims of the hoax. Let’s be thankful that everyone came out the other side safe and sound.

On a lighter note, as that opening paragraph was in unfamiliar sincere territory, I’m now going to revert to form and be somewhat more sarcastic…. Because…. Breathe in the excitement…. X-Factor is COMING to the Viper rooms! How exciting? VERY!! You can see people who have been knocked out of X-Factor performing there every Friday for the coming weeks, months and probably years as these things always seem to drag on don’t they. It’s only £5 to get in, but for a mere £8 you can meet and greet the person who was, until only a few short weeks ago, just a normal person like you with their dreams intact. Queue early and you can get close enough to them to look into their eyes as they struggle to work out how that are going to eek out this fleeting bit of fame into something that resembles a career. (Editors note: Dj Trev was on the Big Breakfast 16 years ago and now writes caustically bitter weekend previews just to keep his “profile out there”. And he does it for free. So if you are thinking of writing in complaining, try writing it on the back of a five pound note).

There is plenty of stuff on this weekend, one of my favorite things to recommend is “Blood and Thunder” on Friday 18th October , the heavy metal night at Retro Bar. I went on a dinner date with organizer and Dj Jamie Bramhall last week (Cafe Rita, very nice) and he impressed me with his knowledge as a dj, interests as a music fan and, something that is altogether harder to learn, his grasp of table etiquette. We are actually going to be doing a night together on Sunday 24th November at rehab for charity, but that is getting a bit ahead of ourselves…

Speaking of getting ahead, next week it’s the run up to Hallowe’en and lots of people love to take this opportunity to let their hair down, dress up and go a bit crazy. And some Dj’s love to take the opportunity to cash in on that. To that end I’m involved in a bunch of nights. I’ve got the Bottom of the Bottle’s pre-Hallowe’en Party on Sunday 27th October, with A Jokers Rage headlining. But since you are already thinking “woh – I don’t mind you humorously referencing ‘cashing in’ when you are talking about a night that you probably lose loads of money on, but come on, you’re talking about hallowe’en here and we’re only just halfway through October, what are you Asda?” I’ll now immediately tell you about a charity event I am involved in and hope that you think “ah, you know what, he’s all-right” when really, all I’m thinking is “if

you have to work for free to keep your “profile out there” just do it. It worked for Wogan.” “FrightFest” is an event at Henshaws, Bond End in Knaresborough on Saturday 26th October. Hawk Eyes are headlining who have toured with System of a Down. A Hunormouse line up of supports should make this a really great day, kicking off at 4pm.. www.facebook.com/events/473144616115534 is the facebook event page which has got the full line up and details of how to get tickets which are £6.50 with the proceeds going towards Henshaws school for the blind.

Whilst I’m on about forward planning, the fine fellows who run House night Knee Deep are all over that. They are holding their first birthday party on Friday 29th of NOVEMBER and are currently hitting the promo trail HARD. www.facebook.com/events/501625043254405 is the page you can visit to buy tickets, it looks like a really strong line up and mad props in advance to them on their birthday!

Still no news on when Major Tom’s Social is going to open but I went to the other place that the owners have, which is in Leeds and is called Baby Jupiter, and it was well good, so I’m expecting great things when it comes…. Their page is www.facebook.com/pages/Major-Toms-Social/471782272917351 but they only update it about as often as I update my mixcloud. Which is a great way for me to shoehorn in a link to that isn’t it? mixcloud.com/djtrevuk

Rehab’s Friday night Live weekly thingy this week is a Hip-Hop special, with Lence, Tre (Song a day), Kipper, which is then followed by guest Dj’s playing techno, house & Drum n’ Bass. I can’t really think of anything funny to write about it (or, obviously anything funny to write about anything else this week either on the basis of what I’ve done so far) but this is free entry and looks like it should be good.

Also on Friday, Christies Bar resumes live music this week, starting with the Rob Donnely band, and there’s loads more coming over the next few months. They still also have Sean “The Bear” McGrath there with his pub quiz on Thursdays and his cheesy disco on Saturdays and APPARENTLY this week Sean also fixed their pot wash machine! Is there anything this man can’t do? I would personally like to use this page right here right now to throw down a challenge to Sean: I will donate seventeen pounds and fifty pence to, erm, some charity or other, if during the month of November, instead of growing a mustache like a student, he manages to grow a mullet like me. It’s not very long to grow a mullet so he may have to strain to force the hair out, but so long as he wears brown trousers too he should avoid any “unpleasantness”.

In other charity based news, as part of the Manhattan Club’s month of fund-raising, this Saturday, 19th October has a Reggae & Ska night with David Crane’s TEENAGE KICKS SOUND SYSTEM playing all the best in 2-Tone, Trojan, Ska and Reggae. It’s on from 7pm – midnight and entry is £6 for St. Michaels Hospice.

I like to print a correction almost as much as I like to make errors in the first place, so would like to point out that for the past 4 months I’ve been referring to Moko Lounge’s Tuesday night as “Spent”. After only approximately 19 false listings, someone pointed out to me that it is actually called “Skint”. Oops.

I’m not the only person who makes mistakes however, as the Blues Bar website has a full day of live music listed on Sunday, which is definitely happening, only the site says it’s got Ben Pool, Strangers in Paradise & The Petty Heatbreakers. However, the Strangers in Paradise event lists Lence as support. Actually, I only recently worked out that The MG Band and the Matt Goldberg Band are the same thing, so it is entirely possible that A) Lence IS Ben Pool, c) someone other than me HAS made a mistake or, far more likely 2) I am totally cluelence.

I’ve gone on a bit, so after the listings proper, Ashley from the theatre has sent me some more listings as their Comedy festival runs into it’s final week. I’ve been to some of the events and it is really a good run of things there, and brilliantly what Ash has written I can just cut n’ paste whilst throwing in a few unnecessary references to her being American. Or Mexican. Whatever, that’s after the listings. Or as Americans would say “Shed Duels”

Stop Press: Darren Lewis is Djing at Revolution tonight instead of Disco Dave. You will be able to spot this as whereas Disco Dave looks a bit like Casper the Friendly ghost, Darren looks more like Chuckie out of rug Rats. Casper the friendly ghost will be back in time for Hallowe’en.


THURSDAY 17th October

Charlies Place, live music from Alibi, free entry.

Revolution, “Vodology” NuDisco, Electronic 80‘s & House with Dj Darren Lewis, free entry.

Blues Bar, Live music with the Scapegoat Kelly, free entry.

The Alexandra, Live music, free entry.

Rehab upstairs: Flex R’n’B night with Dj Tex, cheap drinks, door charge applies after 11pm

Rehab downstairs: Party Rock Anthems with Dj Trev, Free entry.

Viper Rooms Nightclub, Y.O.L.O. R’n’B night, door charge applies.

Moko Lounge Y.O.L.O. Pre Bar.

Christies Bar, Pub quiz with Sean McGrath.

FRIDAY 18th October

Retro Bar, “Blood and Thunder” heavy metal night.

Grape & Graze, Acoustic Night with Aaron Bertenshaw + more.

Lure bar, Dj Sixus, house & Urban, Free Entry.

The Blues Bar, live music from David Barton & The Idiom.

Christies Bar, Live Music, Rob Donnely Band, free Entry.

Rehab Nightclub, “Electro Circus” dance Night downstairs, upstairs live music Hip-Hop special, with Lence, Tre (Song a day), Kipper , followed by guest Dj’s playing techno, house & Drum n’ Bass. guest dj James Jaymal, Elliot Bowman & Davy king. Free Entry.

Moko Lounge nightclub, “Frat house Party”.

Viper romoms X-Factor Finalist Lorna. Entry £5 or “only” £8 to meet and greet the “celebrity”

Zoso Bar, Union Street, “Vibe” House night with guest Djs.

Grape & Graze, Parliament Street, acoustic night.

SATURDAY 19th October

Harrogate Conservative Club, Acoustic night with Liam Grey & Mike Stockburn.

Manhattan Club, Tim Paul host’s Retro Quiz night in aid of St. Michael’s Hospice. Entry £2.

The Blues Bar, live music with Jed Thomas and his band, free entry.

Moko Lounge nightclub, “Risque”, House music.

Revolution Bar, front bar Dj Tex (Soul & R’n’B), main room Disco Dave (upfront dance and chart) free entry.

Rehab nightclub, Rock music upstairs from Your Dj Pieman, Downstairs, dance music with Dj Wayne. Free entry.

Vipers Rooms Nightclub, Chart & house music, Dj Jay Collins upstairs, downstairs Dj Angel Lee playing guilty pleasures and feel good music, free entry before 11pm.

Christies Pub, Sean McGrath’s Cheesy disco.

SUNDAY 20th October

Rehab nightclub, Dj Trev taking time out from writing bad to dj badder. Requests and stuff. Free Entry.

Lure bar, Dj Competition. Free Entry.

Banyan, Aaron Bertenshaw acoustic. Free Entry.

Viper Room’s Nightclub, “Peek-a-boo” R’n’B night.

Blues Bar, FULL DAY OF LIVE MUSIC live music, Ben Pool (afternoon) Strangers in Paradise (Teatime) The Petty Heatbreakers (Evening). Free Entry.

Fat Badger , Cold Bath Road, Pub Quiz.

The Empress on The Stray, Pub Quiz.

The Alexandra Pub, Live music at the Sunday Soundcheck acoustic night.

MONDAY 21st October

The Alexandra Pub Quiz, with Dj Pieman, and a roll over cash jackpot.

The Harlow Inn, Otley road, Pub Quiz.

Zoso Bar, Dj Max & Rum Chaser, house music.

Blues Bar, open mic session with Pete Oliver including Aaron Bertenshaw acoustic.

Moko Lounge nightclub, Karaoki.

TUESDAY 22nd October

The Tap n’ Spile pub, folk night.

The Blues Bar, Live music from world renown TBC.

Moko Lounge Nightclub, “Skint” main room upfront dance and electro, VIP Room Rock Box Rock night Dj Jaye Selway.

Revolution Bar, “Back to Rev’s” House Night, Dj’s Tex & Sixus.

Zoso Bar, Union Street, Electro Jam, open decks sesh.

WEDNESDAYS 23rdOctober

Rehab nightclub, Dj Pieman playing party music.

The Blues Bar, live music from the Paul Middleton Angst band .


And now as usual it’s over LIVE to our American (or possibly Mexican or French-Canadian or something) Reporter in the field, theatre correspondent Ashley… Hello Ash, Can you hear me??? (please note that this week it is ACTUALLY Ashley writing, so whereas last week it was just me, for comedy, pretending to be American, this week there will be genuine spelling mistakes and incorrect usage of the term “pants”.)

“Howdy pardner, here’s is what’s on: TONIGHT! Star of BBC’s Live at the Apollo, QI, the Edinburgh Festival Fringe and HBO’s Family Tree, groundbreaking ventriloquist and BAFTA nominated filmmaker Nina Conti is in the Main House starting at 8pm. As it stand now, she’s sold out. Keep a look out on Facebook and Twitter for any returned tickets!

FRIDAY!! Paul Carrack, legendary Sheffield-born singer, songwriter and former frontman of Ace, Squeeze and Mike & The Mechanics returns to the Royal Hall. There are limited tickets available between £28.50 & £38.50. Starting at 7.30pm.

At the Harrogate Theatre Studio we have the hilarious “David Morgan. Wishes he was pretty.”.Two ridiculous events conspired to make him face up to how he looked, what that meant to him and why it has mattered so much. Help him discover what makes you feel pretty without having to buy all the make up MAC can make. Tickets still available for £10 each. Starts at 7.30pm

In the Harrogate Theatre main house starting at 8pm, join the multi award-winning Mr Tony Law for some absurd, shouty and powerful yet meaningful nonsense. As seen on Have I Got News For You, Never Mind The Buzzcocks & 8 Out Of 10 Cats. Tickets still available at £12 each.

Later on in The Studio starting at 9.30pm, Vikki Stone brings her brand new show to Harrogate with a whole new hour of songs, stand-up and depending on whether or not her dog can learn to dance… dog dancing. As seen on ITV2’s I’m A Celebrity Get Me Out Of Here… Tickets are just £12 each.

SATURDAY!! We have in our Main House, Comedy Club for Kids! Cracking entertainment for everyone over six years old and under 400 years old. We have some of the best comedians from the UK and world circuit doing what they do best… but without the rude bits! Starts at 1.30pm. Tickets still available at £12 for adults and £10 for kids.

At the Royal Hall we have Camel. This two-set tour will embrace compositions recorded throughout those years in a personal covenant of appreciation for a deeply rewarding life of music. Limited tickets available at £30. Starting at 7.30pm.

At the Harrogate Theatre main House we have our Hyena Comedy Night Closing Gala! The line up consists of Jason Cook, Paul Sinha, Marlon Davis & Ian D Mantfort. Tickets still available at just £15 each!


MY BIRTHDAY! Of course should be celebrated by all with or without me.

Next week. From Wednesday we have Grease coming to us performed by Harrogate St Andrew’s Players. Limited tickets available! More on that next week.

By for now! ?;^D ”

…ooooh-kaaay thanks Ashley, particularly the nice face you drew with punctuation, this makes me thing that we english have perhaps underestimated American intellect for too long. More from Ashley next week if she’s still still speaking to me.



As well as this column (heh, “column”), sometimes I write a blog at facebook.com/djtrevuk but it does occasionally have swearing in it, so be careful. Now I am going to go and order something from Paragon Pizza, the staff of which I feel genuinely sorry for… which is actually great as it means I can justify having pizza again this week. To show solidarity as opposed to because I am a lard ass.

Thanks for reading, drink responsibly and don’t be loose with your affections.

Trev x x x


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