Harrogate Rugby Union appoint mystical snake-charmer to change fortune

//

Currently bottom of National League Two, Harrogate Rugby Union have engaged the services of transcendental snake-charmer Poori Fal in an attempt to secure home wins in the last two home games of the season.

A ceremony is due to take place just before tomorrow’s 3pm kick-off in the local derby against fellow strugglers Huddersfield. All four corners of the pitch will receive divine sanction in an attempt to improve the team’s on-field fortunes.

Director of Rugby, David Doherty commented:

We’ve heard good things about Poori for a few years, and I’ve had scouts monitoring his recent performances.

As one of the north’s leading ophiologists, we are all hoping that his mystical input will give us more bite up-front, constrict the opposition’s distribution and gain us the victories we deserve against local rivals Huddersfield & Wharfedale.

It’s the perfect time to adders to the squad.

Poori Fal has specially selected ‘Ramsbottom’ his venomous Eastern Coral Snake (Latin name Loof Lirpa) for the two-hour ceremony.

Mr Fal said:

This particular snake comes liveried in the club’s colours and will be well fed before the action begins. I know ‘Ramsbottom’ will step up and get inside the heads of the opposition.

It’s a do-or-die situation at Rudding Lane, but I’m confident I can raise it to the next level and pull it out of the bag for the loyal fangs.

Everyone at Harrogate Rugby Club wishes all supporters a very viperactive April.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published.