How to get what you need out of a relationship

28 March 2023

No matter who you are, relationships can be complicated. It’s important for both partners to get what they need out of a relationship in order for it to thrive and last. If you’re wondering how to get what you need out of your current relationship or any future ones, this guide is here to help. 

Understanding Your Needs 

The first step in getting what you want in a relationship is understanding your needs clearly. Think about what matters most to you in terms of quality time, communication, trust, support, etc., and write them down so that you have a good grasp on exactly what you’re looking for. It’s also helpful to take some time and reflect on why these needs are important to you and make sure they’re realistic expectations. 

Communicating With Your Partner 

Once you’ve identified your needs and desires from the relationship, it’s time to communicate them with your partner. Make sure that when conversing about these topics, both parties create an environment where listening and respect are the main focuses. This will ensure that both partners feel comfortable expressing themselves openly without judgment or criticism. Additionally, make sure there is no pressure for either partner to change their opinion or do anything against their will, as this can lead to resentment later on. 

Setting Boundaries 

When trying to get what you need out of a relationship, setting boundaries is an important part of the process. These boundaries should be specific enough so that everyone involved knows exactly where they stand in the relationship while still being flexible enough so that the rules aren’t too rigid or strict. When setting boundaries, it may help if each partner discusses how comfortable they are with certain behaviors, such as physical touch, or how often they like communicating during the week. Once those conversations have been had, both partners can come up with ways to respect each other’s wishes while still meeting their own needs from the relationship. 

Negotiating Compromise 

Negotiating compromise in a relationship can be one of the most important aspects of creating a lasting, successful connection. Compromise involves both parties discussing what matters to them and agreeing on how to meet those needs. It’s important for each partner to be honest and open about what they need from the relationship and their willingness to compromise for it to work. 


When negotiating a compromise, it’s important to remember that the goal should not be finding a “winner” or coming out on top. Rather, both partners should strive for mutually beneficial solutions. This could involve something as simple as deciding on where and when to spend quality time together or something bigger like agreeing on financial decisions or long-term goals for the relationship. In either scenario, it’s important for both parties to find a middle ground that works for both of them. 


It’s also important that each partner learns how to recognize when an issue needs further discussion and negotiation before taking any action. For example, if one partner feels overwhelmed by their workload and wants more help from their other half, it may be worthwhile for them to sit down and discuss how they can best divide tasks in such a way that allows each person to maintain balance in their lives. Doing this rather than expecting one person to take on more responsibilities can help keep resentment out of the equation. 


Compromise isn’t always easy, but with clear communication and mutual understanding, it’s possible for two people in a relationship to come up with solutions that work best for both of them. This can create greater stability and trust between partners, which is key when forming healthy relationships with others.

Making Changes When Necessary 

Although healthy relationships mean respecting each other’s individual needs, sometimes things don’t work out as planned, and adjustments must be made along the way. Suppose either party feels like something isn’t working out. In that case, it can be beneficial for them both to sit down together and discuss possible changes that could help improve their satisfaction with the partnership overall, such as adding or deleting certain activities or behaviors from interactions between the two. Ultimately each person should strive towards achieving an equitable arrangement that meets both of their needs simultaneously, if possible. Otherwise, a compromise must come into play again, depending on particular circumstances surrounding the issue at hand. 


Getting what you need out of any type of relationship requires effort from both parties involved, but with honest communication and willingness for compromise, it is possible to reach mutually beneficial agreements that meet everyone’s wants and desires without causing too much strain on either side. By taking steps such as understanding yourself first, communicating effectively, setting boundaries appropriately, negotiating compromise when needed, and making adjustments whenever necessary -you can achieve success in getting what you need out of any kind of partnership, whether romantic, platonic, or professional.

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