A mum who lost her 18-year-old daughter to suicide on Christmas Day 2023 is channelling her grief into raising awareness as she prepares to join the ‘Baton of Hope’ suicide prevention tour when it comes to Leeds later this year.
Bairbre McKendrick, 53, of Wetherby, shared her story as she urged all to be mindful of the signs of someone struggling and to reach out and check in on those around them.
She is one of the 85 people across Leeds bereaved or affected by suicide who have volunteered to carry a symbolic baton through the city on 10 September 2025, World Suicide Prevention Day – when the nationwide Baton of Hope tour arrives in Leeds.
The tour is calling at 20 places across the UK over two months to raise awareness of suicide and spread the message of hope far and wide, with Leeds City Council and the city’s mental health and suicide prevention organisations, including Touchstone and Leeds Mind, currently planning the Leeds leg.
Bairbre said, to many on the outside world her daughter Robyn would have seemed “glamorous” and “the life and soul of the party” but in reality was experiencing profound struggles with her mental health.
Robyn was diagnosed with autism at the end of year 11 when she was 16 and found it difficult to cope with daily life and its many pressures – through school, relationships, friendships and work – often masking her struggles to those around her.
Bairbre, who works at Leeds City Council in city development, said:
We were obviously very aware but people can be too quick to make assumptions. Robyn was glamorous, had a social life. She was the first up dancing to the music.
But she was ill. That saying ‘no one pretends to be depressed, people pretend to be ok’ is so true. That was Robyn. She was always pretending to be ok when in reality she wasn’t.
She was great at checking up on others though – she could spot when other young people were struggling.
Research shows autistic people are up to seven times more likely to die by suicide, with UK charity Autistica also citing studies which found the risk increases further among autistic people without intellectual disabilities and among autistic women.
Since leaving school, Robyn had made attempts to take her own life and had been treated at hospital.
During the last months of her life, she also lost a friend to suicide.
Both of these factors are also known to increase suicide risk, with evidence suggesting people who are bereaved by suicide may be up to three times higher than the general population to take their own life.
These events, together with heightening difficulties in her work life, took a deepening toll on Robyn’s mental health.
Robyn’s death has utterly devastated her family and Bairbre says she wants to encourage people to be aware of the signs someone could be struggling and always be compassionate and kind to others.
Bairbre said:
We are broken-hearted and we always will be.
“It’s important that people accept that someone could be struggling – it’s real, even if they present as turning up, at school, at work, being the life and soul of the party. Robyn was like that. But they are ill and it’s up to us, everyone, to be kind and supportive and try to help them to have hope for their future.
Bairbre said she wanted to join the Baton of Hope tour to connect with other families, which she says can be a healing experience.
Bairbre said:
Coming together in such a public event is also a way to show people who don’t know about the scale of loss of lives to suicide,” she said, adding: “We need to break the stigma around mental health and show people that even though we cannot see their pain, we care and want to help. We will listen and try to find the right support and offer kindness and hope.
Details of the route the baton will take through Leeds will be revealed over the coming weeks, with an array of events and activities being planned throughout the day.
Councillor Fiona Venner, Leeds City Council’s executive member for equality, health and wellbeing, said:
Thank you to Bairbre for sharing her story and channelling her absolutely devastating experience into raising awareness and helping to break the stigma around suicide.
Suicide prevention is everyone’s business – we all have a part to play in knowing the signs and checking in on all those around us.
We’re proud to be hosting the Baton of Hope tour in Leeds for the first time this year and having people, like Bairbre, bereaved or affected by suicide, carrying the baton will be an incredibly powerful way to honour the memory of a lost loved one and share the key message of hope.
We hope people across the city will turn out to show their support on the day and help spread the word.
Reducing suicide and the stigma around it is priority among partners across the city, as part of work to make Leeds a mentally healthy city – a key objective in the Health and Wellbeing Strategy 2023-2030.
Leeds City Council also commissions the Leeds Suicide Bereavement Service, for anyone affected or bereaved by suicide. Visit https://www.leedsmind.org.uk/suicide-bereavement-services-west-yorkshire/
For more information on the Leeds leg of the Baton of Hope tour, visit: https://www.mindwell-leeds.org.uk/baton-of-hope-leeds-2025
For up-to-date details on support services available in Leeds visit https://suicidepreventionwestyorkshire.co.uk/support/leeds
The mental health website for Leeds, Mindwell, also contains a range of support and resources. Visit https://www.mindwell-leeds.org.uk
