Dirty Stops Out – The Happiest night’s out occasionally with happy endings

The last few weeks I’ve successfully managed to cop out of doing the full bit preamble for this column; once because I urged you to go out and vote instead of reading it (37% turn out is better than most places, though I doubt that was remotely down to me, given that only 37% of the 37 people who read this ACTUALLY read it) and once because I urged you to go out and give blood. If you still haven’t done that, book an appointment at blood.co.uk. However, this week I have no real reason for not doing it properly, other than the fact that I just don’t want to. Still, I’m going to grind through it, as I am THAT dedicated to YOU, my loyal non-reader/casual person skimming through it looking for spelling mistakes.

well now, I hope you all enjoyed summer.
Now that all that unpleasant heat is behind us, no doubt you are looking for other ways to spend your time as opposed to either leaving vast piles of rubbish on the stray, or tutting over idle teens that leave vast piles of rubbish on the stray. The Blues Bar always has lots of live music but this week there is a bit of a change as on Saturday live music with The Brothers Groove. I presume their regular Saturday-meister Jed Thomas is on Holiday. I’m not sure where Jed would go on Holiday, but I suspect either New Orleans or Skegness. It also looks like Dan Burnette is stopping playing there on Sundays, so I’m not sure who is taking his place on Sunday afternoon, or indeed what Dan will be doing instead. He is however playing at The Den on Saturday afternoon, and last week I saw him at the really rather fun Blues open mic night (Mondays, hosted by the excellent Pete Oliver) and can assure you he’s still on top form.



There is more live music in town on Saturday up at Retro Bar, which has Selby Green playing in what they call an “End of May” extravaganza. I’m not sure exactly what there is about the end of May to be extravagant about, but it’s still a better name than the new name for the regular Friday nights at Moko Nightclub, which is, get this: “Shakalakaboom”. Fortunately however that isn’t on this week as it’s Moko’s monthly Deep House night “Knee Deep” which still seems to be a very cool night to go to. I say it’s cool, that’s because as I get older, the words they use to describe it make less sense to me. This month is “Raw Underground Records V’s White Widow Records” which I guess means they will be playing house music I don’t know. That’s my kind of night really, and every time they put up an event it looks good. If only they would run it on say, a Tuesday when I could go… however the market demand for a night that only attracts one failing middle aged Dj to it are limited to the nights that I play.

Speaking of which, I run a quiz, tonight (Thursday) at Lure that has an incredibly limited appeal. And to make matters worse I’ve just doubled the price to a whopping 2 (T.W.O.) pounds. That does however mean the prize money will go up twice as quick, and I’ve added a bunch of “exciting” and “new” features that only serve to baffle new attendees and bore regulars. Don’t miss it!
Also in the field of quizzes on Thursday, in Ripon the Curzon Theatre presents the Geek Movie Quiz tonight, whilst in Harrogate Sean McGrath has his quiz at Christies, both of which are almost certainly better than mine. But mine has more biscuits. Trust.

Tomorrow in Knaresborough there are a couple of live gigs. Henshaws Arts Centre presents their monthly event the “Friday night mix” with bands: Four 45’s, Hell Fire Jack, Fauns & Heaven’s Waiting Room live. It’s a cool venue for gigs, and in a couple of weeks is hosting Bedfest, on Bedrace Day, at which I am dj’ing betwixt and between the bands. Also this Friday Liam Grey plays and acoustic show at The Groves Pub. I’ve not seen Liam for a while but I know he is still awesome, because I’ve just booked him to play with me at Rehab on Saturday 14th of June. This is going to be a really messy day, not only because it is ALSO the aforementioned Bed Race Day, but that’s night England are playing Italy at 11pm. So I’ve got Liam in to do a full pre-match warm up live show and the game will be on the massive screen they are putting up at Rehab on the top floor especially for the world cup. I rather suspect that day may involve beer, and the Sunday may involve regret.

Speaking of regret, it is with great regret that I have discovered that non of my so-called “friends” are cool enough to want to come with me this Tuesday to see Billy Ocean at the Royal Hall. I really think this will be an awesome gig, but I’m not going on my own. I mean, I wouldn’t be there on my own, the place will be packed (come, he’s got the hits) but the fact that everyone else there will be partying with their mates and I would be like one of them weirdo’s who go to the cinema alone puts me off somewhat. There’s not many tickets left so if you want to go you’ll need to move on it… Generally I don’t do online “crys for help” (facebook statuses like “sadface” or “am so annoyed right now” make me sadface and so annoyed, right now) but this is genuinely a cry for help. Someone come to this gig with me! Ideally an attractive athletic single woman aged between 18 and, if I’m honest, 28. Sorry, no DSS.

Back to Saturday, There are a couple of things on that don’t involve live music but should be good: There is some kind of comedy club on at The Harrogate Theatre on Saturday – I know this because a bunch of my comedy friends are going – but since my theatre contact Ash moved to Hamerica I no longer get full details of what is on there, which makes me feel more neglected than the spell check function on my Word Proggrame. So check the theatre’s excellent website for deets http://www.harrogatetheatre.co.uk . The other thing is a Burlesque night at Rehab. In the interests of full disclosure, I had better tell you upfront that I am vaguely involved in this. However, to ease the rapid flow of bile to the back of your throat, I would like to clarify that I am NOT performing as a dancer or anything like that. Basically, I play every Saturday there on the top floor with my Rock night “Bottom of the Bottle” and this week from 8pm have invited the “Pussy’s Panthaus” crew to put on a show from 8pm. It’s free to get in and there are 3 or 4 Dancers, plus a hostess and other assorted saucies. I keep getting distracted by this as there is a girl who I think / hope is performing at this, and she has a facebook page full of photos.
Like, really, I feel I should write a lot more this week but…



Erm, listen, I’ve got to, er, go… and take … care … of business… but you should come out, to whatever. Here are the full listings of what is going on in and around Harrogate. As ever, if your event isn’t listed it’s not out of spite, its because either I’ve not happened upon it during my extensive research (ok, this weeks research has been hampered by the aforementioned facebook page) or, which would make my life easier, you’ve not messaged me about it. I’m on facebook.com/djtrev and will pretty much list anything you send me, as like most blokes I am desperate for extra column inches.

THURSDAY 29th May
Blues Bar, live music from The Revolutionaries, Free entry.
Curzon theatre, Ripon, Geek Movie Quiz.
Lure Bar, Dj Trev’s Quiz of crapness. Followed by, of his own invention, the Patented “Crap Disco”, with party, 80’s, pop, cheesy rock, soul, swing and shoddiness.
Viper Rooms Nightclub YOLO R’n’B nigh.
Rehab Nightclub with Dj Tex. “Urban R’n’B”.
The Alexandra, Live music with The Dan Burnette Band, free entry.
Christies Bar, Pub quiz with Sean McGrath.
FRIDAY 30th May
Henshaws Arts Center, Knaresborough: Friday night mix with Four 45’s, Hell Fire Jack, Fauns & Heaven’s Waitingroom live.
The Blues Bar, live music from The Big Fish Band, Free entry.
Moko Lounge, Knee Deep, House night.
The Den, live music from Dan Burnette and his “Stop Dj Trev pulling” Dan Burnette Band.
Lure Bar, Shuffle with Dj Sixus, Funk, House & Breaks.
The Groves Pub, Knaresborough, Liam Grey acoustic night.
Rehab Nightclub, “Electro Circus” dance Night.
The Wellington Pub, Darley, Dan Burnette Live.

SATURDAY 31st May
The Blues Bar, live music with The Brothers Groove.
The Den, Live music in the afternoon with Dan Burnette.
Retro Bar, live music from Selby Green.
The Regency, live music from M.O.A.B. plus guest by invitation.
Revolution Bar, front bar Dj Tex (Soul & R’n’B), main room Disco Dave (upfront dance and chart) free entry.
Rehab nightclub, two floors of music: Top Floor : “Pussy’s Penthaus” burlesque showcase followed by Bottom of the bottle, Rock Music to tittilate ‘til late. Downstairs, commercial music with resident Dj Wayne plus guests.
Vipers Rooms Nightclub Dj Angel Lee & The Legendary Neil Jaques playing tunes for upfront clubbing upstairs, Harvey Westwood downstairs.
Christies Pub, Sean McGrath’s Cheesy disco, free entry.
Man, it’s SUNDAY 1st June. If it’s still raining I’m not getting up.
Blues Bar, advertises as live music from The Dan Burnette Band in the afternoon possibly (check with venue), Lions for a Day at teatime & The Mark Goldberg Band in the evening.
Rehab Nightclub, Dj Trev’s Sunday Slowdown. Playing whatever flies.
Cross Keys, Knaresborough, Soul and Motown evening with Daniel “DC” Crane.
Hales Pub, live acoustic night.
Fat Badger, Cold Bath Road, Pub Quiz.

MONDAY 2nd June
The Harlow Inn, Otley road, Pub Quiz.
So! Bar, Otley Road, Pub Quiz.
Blues Bar, fully hosted fully entertaining open mic session, free entry. This week featuring an Umpa Band!
Moko Lounge nightclub, Karaoke..

TUESDAY 3rd June
The Blues Bar live music with Luna Paige, Free entry.
Billy Ocean live at The Royal Hall.
The Tap n’ Spile pub, folk night.
Pitcher & Piano Re:Session cheap drinks night.
Moko Lounge Nightclub, “Skint” main room upfront dance and electro, VIP Room Rock Box Rock night Dj Jaye Selway.
Revolution Bar, “Back to Rev’s” House Night, Dj’s Tex & Sixus.
Coach and Horses Pie and Peas night with proceeds to Martin’s House Children’s Hospice.

WEDNESDAYS 4th June
The Harlow Pub “Midweek Madness” pub quiz with Dj Tim Paul.
Pitcher & Piano Quiz night from 8pm. Free for new teams or £1.50 PP.
The Regency Pub, big screen quiz.
Rehab nightclub, Dj Max Czernic. Harrogate’s next big hair?
The Blues Bar, live music from the Paul Middleton Angst band .
The exact same bit of SHAMELESS SELF PROMOTION I used the week before last week AND the week before AND aaaaand the week before that. Pretty much since the dawn of time actually. Let’s face it, you’ve stopped reading already. I mean, I’ve said “you’ve stopped reading already haven’t you?” for the last 6 months and not one person has said “yes I have stopped reading” or better yet (but yet to happen) “No, I always read it to the end, give me a free t-shirt”. Fine, whatever, NANANANANANA I’m not listening to you either. Should you wish to listen to some of my actual Dj’ing from the comfort of your own home, you can do that at Mixcloud.com/djtrevuk but really I’d much rather you can out and partied, not for my financial gain you understand, but for your emotional wellbeing. I am also playing this year’s Bedfest at Henshows on the 14th of June (Bedrace Day, Obvs) in Knaresborough, and Feva in the Park on August the 16th in K-town too. It’s as close as I’ve had to go to doing community service.
Thanks for reading, drink responsibly and don’t be loose with your affections.
Trev x x x


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