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Dirty Stops out – Dj Trev’s guide to jedi nights


The MG Band are at The Alexandra in Harrogate  tonight, but I don’t know what kind of music they are playing…. I do know that The Revolutionaries play the Blues Bar tonight, who play “Sizzling hot R’n’B”. I suspect this means ACTUAL R’n’B as opposed to the R’n’B that over excitable teens listen to whilst wearing a cap at a funny angle, being rude and having no bloody respect…. Speaking of which there are two of those type of “R’n’B” club nights in town tonight, Dj Tex plays it upstairs at Rehab whilst The Viper Rooms have their regular night Y.O.L.O.

I’m downstairs at Rehab, I’m doing old fashioned Djing which means I just play whatever works. It’s largely at the Rock end of the spectrum and I don’t play R’nB tonight cos, as I’ve just mentioned there are two nights doing that else where, one of them is a matter of about 20 paces away from me. Honestly love, it’s just over there, up the stairs. Stop shouting “Rihanna NEXT” at me.




FRIDAY 31st May

As is often the case with Fridays, I’ve got two illustrious top tips for the night, the first being Sucker Punch Rock & Movie night at Retro Bar. A cool spot for a spot of spot on Rock, with Dj Dave Sowden dropping the tunes, I’m not really sure how the movies work into it, but Dave is an entertaining fellow so this will be good clean fun.

At the other end of the musical spectrum my other top tip for the night is Knee Deep at The Viper Rooms. Run on the last Friday of every month, this night of proper house music regularly has some great guest DJ’s, this one is a particularly good ‘un: Back 2 Basics resident/legend Buckly is on with support coming from the excellent Dom Samba, Sean Harris and James Moon, all of whom are doing some really cool venues at the moment, this is very much worth a visit. You can get in free if you use the Crescent Road entrance to the club. Do it.

There’s plenty of live music to be had on Friday as ever. Montey’s are increasing the amount of gigs they put on, this week with Japanese Fighting Fish. I’ve never fought a fish, but if I did I would probably win. Unless it was a big fish like what my brother caught last week and subsequently changed his profile photo to him and a big fish. I’ve never done anything as soft as that, apart from when I have a big pint of beer and change my profile to a photo of me with a big pint of beer, because being able to drink a big pint of beer really impresses women. I also like to take photos of what I eat, because women really want a man who can eat a lot. I also sometimes make reference to sports, because women go wild about a man who understands sports that they find baffling and bewildering. Sometimes I like to walk down the road holding a massive kebab, staggering about, whilst shouting “Championi championi” and the name of my fave football team. When I do this, you can see the tailback of women following me from space.

Zoso have their regular Friday night Live sesh, with O.P.E.N. Plus Little Drafts and Adam Westerman. DJ Monkey is playing after the bands, and it’s his last DJ set before he turns 30. I’d like to offer him the pointer that once you turn 30 it’s all down hill for Djs, but since I’m only 23 I can’t offer that sage advice, I’ve got a glorious future thanks.

The Idle Hands play classic rock at the Blues bar and hippy Dave behind the bar will be giving an expert demonstration on how Idle hands are indeed the devils plaything.

In a slightly more posh direction Nick Robinson plays The Den’s regular Piano night on Friday, the idea being that this is a night for people to get dressed up to get down, as it were, in a Wine Bar type atmosphere; whilst in a pub type atmosphere. The Matt Goldberg band play Christies. Is it called Christies pub? It used to be Christies Wine bar, but I would say it’s a pub, as I like it, but then I don’t know if I like wine bars? Maybe it’s still a wine bar and I’ve secretly always liked wine bars? Whatever.


When last I walked past the Blues Bar the big sticker in the window said Jed Thomas’s band play there every Saturday… HOWEVER their website says Sharpie are on this Saturday. Now I don’t know what to think? I suspect it must be Sharpie this week because the internet never lies. Dj Trev has massive muscles.

Sean “The Bear” MgGrath is running a classic british pub disco at Christie’s on Saturday. I don’t know what he plays but I have a brilliant mental image of him dancing to the Bee Gee’s “Staying alive” and pointing at sexy ladies. How accurate this is I don’t know.

The Theater has a show on called Tubular Bells for two, which is a show where two people play an arrangement of Tubular Bells specially made for two people. It’s the 30th anniversary of the album or something. No, now I’ve looked, its the 40th anniversary. Also at the Theater, in the Studio there is a comedy show called The Noise Next Door featuring 5 lads who’ve++++++++++++++++++++++ done sold out shows at the Edinburgh Fringe Festival.

Rehab on Parliament Street has two floors of clubbing and is free entry, with Piemans “Stereotype” pop rock night upstairs and Dj Wayne’s Faithless “Insomnia” night downstairs.

The Viper Rooms and Moko lounge offer two clubbing options at the bottom of Parliament street, with Viper rooms being a little more grown up and Moko being more for the young ones, or the ones who still think they are young. Sometimes I end up there, dazzling everyone with my amazing dancing and how in touch I am with the current trends. For example, I really like all this modern Hop-hip music.

Disco Dave returns to revolution this Saturday fresh as a slightly wobbly daisy, having recently holidayed in Ibiza. If you are quick, you can probably still convince him to pay £25 for a bottle of water.

I am Djing this Saturday at the Den, where recently they courted controversy by saying they didn’t want two particular social stereotypes in their venue. This seems bizarre as I fit into both those stereotypes and I’m Djing there. What next, no mullets or stonewash? Or bad mixing?

SUNDAY 2nd June

The excellent Dan Burnett Band is on on Sunday avo at The Blues Bar, if you ask him nicely he’ll do the David Brent out of the Office dance for you, which matches his little beard really well. The Blues also have Rodina playing there in the evening, but I’m not going to playfully mock how they look, as they have a very sexy girl in the band. And some men who look like they are possibly harder than me. Although I did once kill a tiger with one punch.

The Fat Badger runs their pub quiz on Sundays, Viper Rooms have “Peek-a-boo” club night on, and Rehab have me Djing. All of which may or may not be good depending on your perspective, knowledge, expectations and levels of personal hygiene. Smelly people with bad breath certainly don’t like me. Which upsets me and I always thought smelly people with bad breath should stick together. As I imagine we in fact would if we took our clothes off. But lets not.

MONDAY 3rd June

Zoso has an open mic night on, as do the Blues Bar. So you can go to one, practice there, get real good, go to the next one and BLOW everyone’s mind, then as your encore go to Moko Lounge’s Karaoki night and not be able to get on cos the DJ keeps singing Robbie Williams songs.

Dj Piemans quiz night is on at The Alexandra and it’s very good but I ran out of superlatives describing it last week.

TUESDAY 4th June

No changes for Tuesday so I’ll just cut n’ paste what I always write (interestingly enough, when I first wrote cut n’ paste I made a very offensive typo, which was not only rude, but a disturbingly gross description of some women I’ve known. If this bit makes it past the censors I’d like to instantly apologies unreservedly for it.

There is the Folk night at the Tap n’ Spile every Tuesday, but if you couldn’t give a folk about that, at the club end of the spectrum Moko has a night two rooms, one with Jay Selway’s Rock Box and the other with a really good commercial DJ doing good upfront stuff. I didn’t see who it was playing when I was in there but both rooms were playing good stuff. Jay also runs Rock Box pub night at the Regency.

The Electro Jam continues at Zoso on Tuesdays and is a nice night out. They seem to rotate the Djs more often now so if you don’t like what one jock is doing you don’t have to wait long for another to be on. Hardcore Dave plays some hardcore too, which is something you don’t get enough of in Harrogate, so mad props to him and all the Harrogate Hardcrew. Again. Again. Again.


Paul Middletons sweary growly Angst Band play the Blues on Wednesdays, think this is every week and Paul has a good following and The is a one man show about Oliver Reed on at the theatre and it’s only on for one night. Harrogate’s answer to Oliver Reed, dj Pieman, is playing at rehab for a bit of midweek problem drinking.


I play a show on Saturdays 10pm to midnight and again on Thursdays at 2pm; if for some ungodly reason you miss it you can catch up and listen to old shows on line at, I’m currently posting a Metal & Punk show I did recently, plus a house and rave one, proving beyond a doubt that I am no one trick pony. The music is very good but I’m not much good at talking and I do swear a bit on there as well, so be warned. I am on the facebook at and I sometimes swear on there, as I am in fact a bit of a one trick pony, clearly.

Thanks for reading, drink responsibly and don’t be loose with your affections.

Trev x x x

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